Transforming Adversity into Spiritual Growth

How does a Marine veteran and former football coach find redemption and inspire others to do the same? Join us in this powerful episode as we sit down with John Jarman, who shares his extraordinary journey from a life of adversity and poor choices to one of profound spiritual transformation. John introduces his book, "Broken and Redeemed: Finding Freedom Through Complete Surrender," and opens up about the trials and triumphs he faced while writing it. We explore the profound concept of surrendering to God, especially the unique challenges men face in this spiritual journey, and how this surrender can lead to a life of freedom and purpose.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Broken and Redeemed
• 7:48 Journey of Faith and Discipleship
• 14:57 Forgiveness, Faith, and Discipleship

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Today on Honest Christian Conversations, I am joined by Marine veteran and former football coach, john Jarman. His life has been filled with unspeakable tragedies, abuses at the hands of his father and anger-driven, poor life choices. The power of Christ transformed John and he is now a leader in men's discipleship. John and he is now a leader in men's discipleship. He is also the author of Broken and Redeemed Finding Freedom Through Complete Surrender, a devotional-style story about his life. I am very excited to share this guest with you because he's been able to overcome through the power of Christ. Be prepared to be blessed and empowered by what he has to say. Be sure to share this episode with family and friends so they too can be blessed by the contents of this episode. Hi John, welcome to the podcast. Thank you for joining us today.

Speaker 2: 1:13

Thanks for having me. I'm really looking forward to our conversation today.

Speaker 1: 1:17

Yeah, me too. I've actually been reading through your book. I finished it today. Actually, I got it on Friday. I went through it for a little bit through the weekend and then I finished it today. Actually, I got it on Friday. I went through it for a little bit through the weekend and then I finished it today.

Speaker 2: 1:28

So you didn't have time to answer all the questions at the end of the chapter then.

Speaker 1: 1:31

so no, no, unfortunately not, but those are definitely probing questions that I will be able to look at at a later date for sure.

Speaker 2: 1:41

That was a good addition to the book.

Speaker 1: 1:43

I like how you made it into devotional, basically something that can be used at churches as well. I thought that was very interesting and a great concept. It's a great way to use your story to give God the glory.

Speaker 2: 1:58

Yeah, and that's the teacher in me as I was writing the book. I was like you know, and not that I wanted people to have a test or anything, but I just it was more for them to do self-examination as they grew in faith, because I feel that was an integral part of what I went through, and so I wanted people to kind of experience that I tell people it's not a how-to book, it's a what I did book, and some of the things are going to help people and some might not.

Speaker 1: 2:21

But yeah, Tell us about the book. How did you come up with your title? Broken and Redeemed?

Speaker 2: 2:29

Well, it just came to me one day during my prayer time and so I stuck with Broken and Redeemed. The subtitle changed a little bit as I started working with Morgan James, my publisher. The subtitle was actually God is Waiting for you, because I felt that that's what God was doing is waiting on me to say, okay, I surrender. And here we go, and so we use that. If you look at the back cover of the book, it's part of that back cover. So we continued that.

Speaker 2: 2:52

But as we talked through it, they wanted to change the subtitle so it fit more of a description of the book, and so we came up with finding freedom through complete. I, finding freedom through complete. I'm trying to think of the word we use, because we changed the last word complete discovery or something like that and it just really didn't sit with me after a call and so I was praying. I was like God, give me another word. There's got to be another word that fits this. That's better. And Surrender came up and I wrote the publisher the next day and I said how about this? I said I can go with either one, but I think this works better. And they emailed me back within five minutes and said that's perfect, and so that's how the subtitle came about.

Speaker 1: 3:30

Surrender is not easy to do, but boy is it life changing when you do it.

Speaker 2: 3:36

And I think it's harder for men than it is for women, because we have pride, we have ego.

Speaker 1: 3:42

Yeah, I could see that being a thing. Okay, so did you have any struggles when?

Speaker 2: 3:52

you were writing the book. You know, when I started the books a little bit about the book my counselor, who I worked with for 10 years on and off she suggested I write the book in 2014. I started writing the book and I got about five chapters in and I really didn't know where to take the book. I really didn't know how to write a book and I found a lady at my church who is our media person at the church and so she kind of started helping me put it together. You know, I have dyslexia, so I knew I needed help writing the book and so the book went on the shelf from 2014 till 2020.

Speaker 2: 4:22

Before I was in my morning prayer time and and I came across Hebrews 10, 36, which talks about the will of God, and it says when you're doing the will of God, you must persevere to get what he promised. And then about an hour later, I have a favorite author, aj Swoboda, and I was reading his first book, messy, and he said that no one told him if anybody would read his book or buy his book. He just had to write it. And those two things happened within an hour and I'm like, okay, I got to finish the book, and so I went on vacation and I committed to writing two hours a day and the book was done in four weeks. So it was just a spiritual dump, and you know. Then I started working with my editor. You know we worked on the book and chapter 14 in the book is actually a book, a chapter we added as we were doing the editing process, so that was the only thing that was added to the original manuscript after four weeks.

Speaker 1: 5:12

Well, the way you explain how you wrote the book reminds me of Ray Comfort. I don't know if you know who he is. He's an evangelist. He has a ministry called Way of the Master and Living Waters. They have a podcast and he goes to different places in LA and he just shares the gospel on the street with people. But he said that he wrote a book in one night and his friends were like what that's? What your story reminds me of is when the Holy Spirit says you're going to do this, it can be done, and it will be done, done, and God will get the glory for it.

Speaker 2: 5:46

Yeah, and he takes care of everything after that. Because as I was doing the editing process, I didn't know that Arlene, my editor, was a scout for Morgan James. And so she tells me this about halfway through the editing process and she goes we're going to submit it. And she goes, john, they'll accept the book. And I'm like, yeah, okay, you know, cause you just don't know. And September of that year they accepted the book and by March of the following year I had the book in my hand and it'll be three years next month that the book has been out. And so you know that couldn't have happened without. You know my obedience and then God's intervention. You know that's the way I look at that. I tell people this story all the time and they're like, wow, that happened quick.

Speaker 1: 6:24

It's amazing that you were able to do it with dyslexia as well. I mean, that's definitely God working. You were meant to do this and I know in your story you talk about your mama Dell. I believe it is telling you that God has a plan for you and you didn't believe it. But here you are you have dyslexia and you were yet able to finish a book writing in four weeks.

Speaker 2: 6:54

When I had the book in my hand, I knew Mama Del was smiling from heaven because she's like this is what I told you. So, yeah, that was a joyous part of that day when I got the first shipment of books.

Speaker 1: 7:10

So tell us a little bit. What is the book specifically about? Is it about one part of your life, or is it about your whole life in general?

Speaker 2: 7:20

It's about. I mean, I go back to when I was a young child and it chronologically go through until I accepted Christ and then a little bit after that, and just the trials and tribulations of what I went through. You know I call it the good, the bad and the ugly and you know it's not everything that happened to me, because I wanted to keep some of the stuff out because there's you know people I wanted to protect and not, you know, open up wounds from the past and that type of stuff.

Speaker 2: 7:43

So you know there's a lot of stuff that I did to leave out but it, for the most part, you know it's. It tells the story I made, tells the you know the things I did incorrectly and the self-examination that I went through as I started to grow in faith. That you know I think everybody needs to go through for that complete surrender Cause I think you have to look at yourself and see what you have to change personally, and that's the hard part of Christianity is because of that self-examination. So and it just chronologues, you know it goes through that whole time frame of you know what I did. You know losing my brothers and my parents and you know just working with my counselor and my spiritual mentor, scotty Kessler, but by the grace of God I found those two because I wouldn't be here today without Christina and Scotty helping me through all this.

Speaker 1: 8:36

Yeah, it's definitely important to have spiritual guidance and mentors, so I'm very glad that you had that. During all those times, I was reading in your book and my heart was breaking for all the different losses you've had. And here you are standing today. God is good and my heart was breaking for all the different losses you've had. And here you are standing today. God is good. And, yeah, I'm in awe by your story. It's and it's full of a lot of different tragedies, but at the same time, you can see where God's working too.

Speaker 2: 9:02

Yeah, and as I grew in faith, as I worked with Scotty, it was easier to see, looking back on my life, where God had his hands, even though I didn't know God, because growing up we were in a church family.

Speaker 2: 9:15

And the only contact I had with God was what you know, mama Del used to tell me when we got together. I really didn't go to church until boot camp, when I was in the Marine Corps and the drill instructors came in Sunday morning and said, hey, you guys can go to church, it's an hour vacation from us and I would sign me up just to get away from them for an hour a week, and so I think that's where the seed was planted, but it took a long time for it to mature.

Speaker 2: 9:36

I think that sanctification is a lifelong process, but salvation is, you know, when you accept Christ in your life, it's salvation. But sanctification is a whole different story and it's a lifelong journey.

Speaker 1: 9:49

So how did you come to faith?

Speaker 2: 9:52

Well, like I said, it started then and then, as I got into my coaching career, I started getting involved with Fellowship of Christian Athletes because the schools I taught at had huddles, so I started attending those and they just kept growing a little bit and a little bit, a little bit.

Speaker 2: 10:07

And then it wasn't really until I moved back home after my, when my mom got, after I lost my dad and my mom was real sick.

Speaker 2: 10:14

I moved back to the, to Washington, and I kind of saw a self-destructive pattern of behavior happening and I sought out counseling and as we were working through it, then I met Scotty and that's where my life really changed as far as my faith, because he took me and he discipled me and we worked together and just all sorts of prayer plans, reading plans, all this.

Speaker 2: 10:35

And so I got more in depth in the Bible, started to understand it more, because I think, as in depth in the Bible, started to understand it more, because I think, as a new Christian, it's hard to understand the Bible if you don't have a mentor or somebody discipling you. And I think that's important because you have a lot of questions and you don't know how to pray when you first. And I think that's where our church really kind of lets down new Christians is because they don't attach them to a disciple to show them how to pray, and show them how to read the Bible and put a reading plan together and talk to them about it as they read, and I think the church itself would do that more. I think it would be a better situation.

Speaker 1: 11:10

Yeah, I agree, you are a men's discipleship leader, correct?

Speaker 2: 11:16

Well, I do, I disciple individuals, it's not a group kind of thing.

Speaker 2: 11:20

So Scotty Kessler, my mentor, he's discipled probably 1,500 people in his lifetime because he used to be a football coach and he started using the Big Ten, which I had permission from him to put in the book and it's a 10-step discipleship process and so that's what he used with me and we were three weeks into him discipling me and he goes okay, John, who are you discipling? Because his philosophy is, if you're three weeks into Christ, you're better than somebody who's just coming to Christ.

Speaker 2: 11:47

And so you can disciple him and I'm like I'm not ready to disciple, but he's like you need to find somebody, and so you know it was that kind of mentality and so using that big 10 is the easiest way and it just helps the person that you're discipling and it helps you. And then if I snag something along the way or if I have questions, I just pick up the phone and I talk with Scotty and he helps me through the situation.

Speaker 1: 12:10

So for those who don't know what discipleship means, will you explain that to them? Well, for me it's teaching.

Speaker 2: 12:18

I mean it's taking in somebody who is younger than you in their faith and then teaching them how to pray, how to read the Bible, bible memorization, how to give a gospel presentation, gospel invitation, and all of that Because new Christians don't understand that. They're afraid to pray when they first become Christians, especially pray out loud in a group. They're afraid to pray when they first become Christians, especially pray out loud in a group. They're afraid to read out loud with the Bible. And this all teaches them how to do that. So for me, discipleship it's mentorship, it's teaching, and that's the easiest way I can explain that question is it's teaching and mentorship?

Speaker 1: 12:53

Okay, our church that I go to I know they have several classes that they do that help with discipleship that you can sign up for and, like you said, it's something that a lot of churches don't take the effort to do, but it is very necessary for individuals to have that one person that they know they can go to, that they can trust to help them walk in the ways that God wants them to. To help them walk in the ways that God wants them to. It's great that you have a heart for that, because that is a need, especially nowadays. That is definitely a need that I don't feel is being met, especially for men. That's definitely something that needs to be fixed.

Speaker 2: 13:35

And the hardest part, I think, for the men that are listening today, the hardest part for us is coming to that point of vulnerability, to where you're willing to share, and that's a trust factor. So you have to trust the person you're sharing with, and that was one of the things that Christina worked with me for probably five years on is to become vulnerable, and when I got the review from my book from Arlene, she read the book and then sent me a review of it before we started editing it. She said I love the vulnerability that you showed in your book, and so I sent that to my counselor, christine. I said you finally got what you wanted, you know, but it's just something that has to come, you know.

Speaker 2: 14:09

And you know it was harder for me because I think the way I grew up in the violent home that I had and then going into the Marine Corps and then becoming a football coach, there's those things don't have vulnerability.

Speaker 1: 14:20

I mean you can't be vulnerable when you're a Marine. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2: 14:24

And so from age 12, I took control basically of my life and I did whatever I wanted to do to survive. And so I think those things compounded things and at the time I think they were good, but at the time, you know, but going through life, those things affected the way I made decisions and it caused some bad choices on my part and some bad decisions. And you know, that's the tough part of it, and I didn't even realize it when I was doing it, until I came to this certain growth in Christ and I could look back and go wow, you know.

Speaker 1: 14:57

I like how you referenced in your book the Toby Mac song scars come with living. I like that song, by the way. It is very true. It's very true. I listened to a podcast interview that you did and I heard you mention the acronym tacos. You also mentioned it in your book, and not only did it make me hungry for TACOS, but it made me hungry to know what you meant by that. So can you explain the acronym? Because I love a good acronym, especially a God-centered one.

Speaker 2: 15:33

Yeah, it's something that Scotty uses, and he's been using it for years and years, and it's a way to teach new Christians how to pray, and so the acronym stands for so you want to pray in this order. So T is thanksgiving and then adoration, and then confession, and then others and then self.

Speaker 2: 15:50

And so that's the order that he feels that you should pray in, because you're giving thanksgiving, then you're giving God the adoration and then you're, you know, so it goes through that acronym and it's easy to do. And so when we're in the discipleship group, what we do is each, you know, we spend about a minute on each acronym and people just go around the room and they popcorn, share what they're thankful for, what they, you know, what they want to pray. We ask if anybody who needs prayer so that when we get to the O we can pray for other people. But we also, you know, you just go through the acronym and everybody in the room can say their thanksgiving, their adoration, their confession, others and self, and so it's a simple way to do it and it's less threatening to the masses and somebody who's just coming into their faith. I love it and I used it. I taught a youth group at my church one time to use the acronym, so I think some of them are still using it.

Speaker 1: 16:41

Yeah, it's a very good one. I like it and I think I'm going to implement it into my time for myself and with my children, because who doesn't love tacos? Exactly, tacos with a double meaning is even better.

Speaker 2: 17:00

So when you have tacos at night, you can use that prayer before you? Yes, yes, it's clever no it's, it's, I love it and, and you know, like I said, I Scotty gets all the credit for that because that's in his big 10.

Speaker 1: 17:21

So my mentor has been very instrumental in my life too. She's a wonderful woman. It's funny. When I first went to the church that I go to now, that's where she was. She was a greeter. I was cranky, didn't want anyone to talk to me. I was like, please, nobody talk to me, I just want to come in unseen. I was shy. Then the first person who talks to me. I see her. She's very bubbly and happy and I was like, please, lord, don't let her talk to me. And she's the first person who talked to me and she's been like a mother to me. She's a friend. She's the one who introduced me to my husband. She's been everything to me. So I think it's great that you and Scotty are so close that you were able to find somebody to have that deep connection with, who's still impacting your life today. Oh, absolutely, that is important.

Speaker 2: 18:14

Yeah. Everyone, it was by the grace of God that I found him. So I mean, he was working at our church and I shared a story with one of the pastors and they said you need to go talk to Scotty, that's how we found each other.

Speaker 1: 18:28

Everyone should have someone like that in their life, and if they don't, they need to find somebody, because that is key. Discipleship is key. It the Bible says it. Jesus commands it go, make disciples.

Speaker 2: 18:42

Yes.

Speaker 1: 18:43

It wasn't just some nice thing to say, it wasn't.

Speaker 2: 18:46

I think the church, and when I say the church, the body of Christ, the church buildings, we go to the people that are in those buildings. It's go and make disciples of all nation, that's the commandment and we fail on that part, I believe as Christians, because we get people to come to Christ but then we don't guide them through that growth.

Speaker 1: 19:07

Yeah, yeah, I agree. All right, I have one last question for you Regarding your childhood and forgiving others the mistakes you made in your own life and asking for forgiveness. How has forgiveness played a role in your relationship with God and what are you learning from the process of forgiveness from God?

Speaker 2: 19:28

Well, the biggest thing I learned is forgiveness doesn't release the act. It doesn't take away what happened to you, but it takes the shame and guilt of that away, because you can't change what took place. But if I can forgive my dad, then that releases that bind that was held over me, because it says in the Bible that Jesus forgave us, so we must forgive, and so that's a big thing and it's hard sometimes. It wasn't easy at first.

Speaker 2: 19:56

I think seeking forgiveness from people that I hurt was even harder because I had to go ask for forgiveness. Some people gave it to me, some people said no way, and you know I just pray that someday that they change their heart because I know I'm forgiven through Christ. But that was part of that self-examination and that growth period, because it's an essential part of your walk as a Christian. And I think that that's where Scotty helped tremendously with that, because I was able to talk to him and, you know, say hey, should I talk to this person about this? Should I forget this? And you know some people he said no, just pray that they forgive you.

Speaker 2: 20:36

You don't even want to go in face to face with that person, and so you know that's where that disciple comes in, and you know that mentor comes in that can help you guide you through that.

Speaker 1: 20:45

Well, your story is very powerful. You have risen above abuse. You and your family have been through the hardships of losing brothers and their loved ones. You've been through so much. Your book is amazing. It's encouraging, heartbreaking, but also full of your faith. It's encouraging, heartbreaking, but also full of your faith and, again, I love that you made it into a devotional that can be used at churches. So, john, if people want to read your book, where can they get it? Where is it available?

Speaker 2: 21:18

It's available anywhere books are sold Barnes and Noble, amazon, all the major bookstores, goodreads. It's online everywhere. It's available in digital format. Unfortunately, it's not available in audio, but if your listeners want a signed copy, if they visit brokenandredeemedcom they can order the book off my website and I'll sign the copy and ship it out to them.

Speaker 1: 21:39

All right, sounds great. Thank you again for joining us today. I had a wonderful time getting to know you better.

Speaker 2: 21:45

And I appreciate your time and thanks for having me on.