Honest Christian Conversations
A weekly podcast dealing with cultural and spiritual issues within the Christian faith.
Honest Christian Conversations
Practical Ways to Seek God First
Anita Keagy’s powerful journey through teenage pregnancy and her difficult decision to choose adoption became a divine metaphor for God’s desire to be known and sought by His children — and it will inspire you to seek Him first in your own life.
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Wow. The last time I was speechless during one of my episodes was when I had Heather Bradley on and she was discussing the loss of her young baby. This episode with Anita Kagey I was floored by her story. I am in awe still by her story. I am in awe still and I learned so much from her. You are going to enjoy this episode. You are going to get so much out of it. Your heart is going to break. I was choking up a few times during this and I will be surprised if you are not choked up as well and transformed by the powerful love of Jesus. I'm Anna Murby. This is Honest Christian Conversations. Let's get to it.
Speaker 1:If this is your first time listening to the podcast, thank you for spending your time with me today. For all returning listeners, I'm glad you're back. After the episode, please leave a review for the podcast if you haven't already done so, if you have. Thanks so much. I appreciate reading your encouraging comments. They help me improve the content for you all. Want a shout out on the next mini-show? Check out the links in the show notes. Thanks for your support. God bless and enjoy the show. Anita. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast to talk to me. When I saw your profile on Podmatch it really spoke to my heart. The idea of choosing life and abortion that's a very hot topic, especially now. You were a young mom didn't know what to do and that story just encouraged me and I knew I had to have you on. So thank you for coming on the show.
Speaker 2:Thank you for the invitation. This is really a gift to be able to speak from our hearts, share what that journey was like getting pregnant at 17 and being raised in a strong Christian home, Just all the dynamics around that. And the year it was 1974, so abortion had just become legal in 73. And in my self-righteousness, my senior year in high school, I wrote a paper on why you shouldn't get an abortion, because I truly felt it was taking a life. But of course it's easy to say that when you're not pregnant.
Speaker 1:So when you wrote the paper, you weren't pregnant. No, no. Oh, that's right. You said self-righteous, I get it now. Yes, you are's right. You said self-righteous, I get it now. Yes, you are absolutely right. It is easy to say something, but to put your money where your mouth is, that's different. So how soon after you wrote this paper did it happen?
Speaker 2:I'm going to say I'm just speculating, but I'm going to say it was probably in the spring and then in May was my senior prom and at that time I knew my parents being in the pastoral ministry, that we had gotten an invitation to move from Tennessee to Pennsylvania. So we were going to move as soon as I graduated and head to Pennsylvania, which was okay because I knew I was going to go to a Christian school there, messiah College. A prom night I went with a friend, a guy friend. We were dating but we weren't in love. He was younger than me.
Speaker 2:I had always known it because of the way I was raised. Our family, like my parents, never talked about you, shouldn't have sex in our course. But we knew, we read our Bibles and I knew that the standard was to save yourself, do not give away your virginity until you're married. So there was just that understanding. And of course I have the memory of us kids sitting around the kitchen table one night when I was that age and my mother looking at the five kids and saying don't you kiss anybody till the day you're engaged.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking, oh dear, this is too late to hear this message. I hate to say this, but back then, you know, I was a normal teenage girl who thought she knew more than her parents and I thought I could mess around as long as I didn't do it. You know, go the whole way. That is the lie I bought into. And I always say if you hear a little voice in your conscious saying go ahead, nobody's going to find out, nobody's going to find out, nobody's going to get hurt. That is straight from Satan, who is out to steal, kill and destroy.
Speaker 2:And so I bought into those lies, mr Ram, and prom night I'll call him a boyfriend, even though I wasn't like in love with him or anything. We left the prom, we went parking back in those days and I have no idea why we went as far as in my mind I thought I was safe, yeah, okay. So. But we got close enough that we both felt afterwards like we were like, oh, my word, and we shouldn't have done that. And the next day he was a Christian too, brought up in a home where he was taught to have a relationship with the Lord, and we got together, we prayed, we asked God to forgive us and then, a few weeks later, my family we up and moved to Pennsylvania. So we moved to Pennsylvania having no clue that I was pregnant, that that night created a life.
Speaker 1:The situation reminds me of a show from the 90s called Scrubs, and there was a part towards the end of the series where a couple was fooling around. They were messing around, but things didn't go quite as planned and it wasn't the full-on deal, but there was enough to happen to where she got pregnant. And that's kind of what I thought of when you said that. I was like, oh, it reminded me of something. So I was able to visualize no, like I get it. And I grew up as a Christian too. I wasn't full on told you don't do this. I was told, if you did do sex before you were married, that you should marry that person because it's a sin.
Speaker 1:It was just a dirty word. You don't use the S word, you don't talk about it. So I can kind of relate to the situation. You get this OK. Well, I can do this much and I'll be OK, but I was super. I just didn't want to do any of it because I didn't want to get in trouble. I felt the nauseous if I did anything wrong. I was like I'm just going to be uber good until one day I wasn't, and then I made a whole slew of mistakes after that. So I get where you're coming from.
Speaker 2:Well, it's just. I don't even like sharing that part of my story when I speak, because it can become a distraction you know, people get so focused in that I said we didn't go the whole way.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so it's just not worth it to me. I just let it go, because I know what I know, but you know what.
Speaker 2:When my parents took me to the doctor, not thinking I was pregnant, I just thought I wasn't getting my period because I was anxious about going to college. I was leaving home. I just didn't know, because in my head, even though the thought occurred to me I could be pregnant because of missing my period, I would always come back to no, I can't be. So when I was on that examining table and my mother was beside me, the doctor just looked at me and he just felt my adamant and he just looked up and said well, young lady, you're pregnant, because I would have been three months at that point. And I looked at him and I just said I can't be. And he said well, why can't you be? And so I said I didn't do it. You know, that's exactly what I said to the doc. And he said well, young lady, he said, if it's the right time of the month, sperm can swim and crawl and you can conceive. Oh, my word. I mean I just thought, no, it can't be. And here is my innocent mother sitting beside me hearing her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant and he went on to say now we can do a blood work test to confirm it. But you're pregnant, and just a little side note, my dear mother, like my dad and mother, she has passed since, but she, my parents, were righteous people, and I mean that in a good, respectful way. I never saw them sin, I'm serious. They were just such. They just really modeled what it looked like to walk with God. You know. But, my dear mother, I will always remember when we got the word that the blood test that I was, I was pregnant, it was positive. She got out like some medical book and she said Anita, it says here, those blood tests are only right. 99% of the time she was still grasping. Bless her heart. It's just devastating to her. My parents never judged me, they never condemned me, they never shamed me.
Speaker 2:In fact, once we knew I was pregnant and we went out to the car and really the hardest thing in the world was for me to tell my dad that I was pregnant. We were on our way to a church picnic to welcome us to this new church and we picked up my siblings. We went on to the picnic and just like in shock, we just had to fake it for a while Because we didn't have time to even deal with it. And I just remember the most precious, painful memory was going to that picnic and I just couldn't fake it Like I couldn't pretend that nothing was wrong. And so I, when no one was looking, I disappeared and I found where our car was and I got in the car to hide and I just cried. I was so afraid, I was so ashamed, like there were all of these emotions coming at me and I just didn't know what I was going to do. And my father noticed I was missing and all the you know all the people and all what was going on. He noticed I was missing and he came looking for me. He left that picnic and went out to where all the vehicles were and he found me in the car. He knew that's where I would probably be and he just got in the car with me and held me and cried with me.
Speaker 2:He was just such a picture of our Heavenly Father. He doesn't want to see us get hurt. That's why he has His commands. It's not that he doesn't want us to have fun, he doesn't want us to be hurt, and so he has put laws and commands, so to speak, in his word out of his love for us. He doesn't want to see us get hurt. But you know what, when we blow it, he is there for us. But it's the thief who's out to steal, kill and destroy, who will do everything to keep us distracted from going to God for that love and comfort. He's shaming us, he's sending all the negative thoughts and if we buy into it, it sends us into the dark, into depression. But God is there to love us and to walk with us through our pain, even when we mess up. But my dad, to this day, I owe it to him because his love, his unconditional love. Of course I received it from my mother too, but a daughter's father, situation is just different.
Speaker 2:That night we went home from the picnic. We still hadn't told the rest of the family, we hadn't told anyone. We got on our knees, we prayed and we asked God for wisdom what we would do. We had no clue what we were going to do. This was again 1974. And so my parents did have such good wisdom and when we were done praying on our knees, they looked at me and said Anita, you made some choices. Now you've got to deal with the consequences and you've got to make a decision of what you're going to do. We're not going to tell you what to do. This is your responsibility.
Speaker 2:I was actually just weeks away from turning 18. Yeah, so what? To be honest, when I went up to my bedroom that night, this is where the battle began. In my self-righteousness of saying, yeah, no, abortion, it's wrong. Now, all these lies were bombarding, all these fears. You see, fear will make us do things we wouldn't ordinarily do, and so all this fear started coming over me as a result of this unplanned pregnancy and all the lies I was hearing your dad's going to lose his job and you know, you can't tell all your aunts and uncles like I come from this lineage of Christian, on both sides, pastors. I have an amazing gift of the lineage that I have, but I didn't want to disappoint my parents, and there was so much going on. But right away, the thought came in I have to get an abortion.
Speaker 2:That's the only way out of this mess. And I can't even believe I had the courage to go to my parents and say I think I need to get an abortion.
Speaker 1:But I did.
Speaker 2:How did they react? You know what? They didn't shame me for the thought. This is what they said to me, see, they cared more about me and my spirit and soul than they did about their reputation and they just said Anita, that's not one of your options. We're sorry, but we know how you will feel years from now, because we know your tender conscience and we can't let you do this. And obviously I could have ran off and been rebellious and made that decision. But you know what I knew. My parents knew more than I did now Because I hadn't listened to them before. Now I'm dealing with this painful situation In my heart. I praise the Lord that I knew it was right what they were saying to me.
Speaker 2:So there's a verse in Matthew where Jesus says sort of, go into your closet and pray to your Father in secret. So that's what I did. I literally went up to my bedroom closet, shut the door and I just cried out to the Lord and I said, god, I need your help. I don't know what's best for this child. I don't know what to do. I don't know the future. I need you to help me.
Speaker 2:And honestly, I knew marriage for my situation wasn't a good option. He was 16. He never had a dad. His dad died when he was young. I was not in love with him. He was in love, actually, with my best friend it's almost like Barbara but there were many factors that I knew in my spirit that that wasn't the best plan. And so now I was down to place my child for adoption or raise my child as a single mom. So those were my two options. And as I prayed you know, anna, I don't know I felt in my heart that God was speaking, for the best plan for my child would be to place for adoption. The reason I say I felt that was what the plan should be was because of the peace that came over my heart. So anyway, I felt that this was the best plan. So I told my parents that I would place my child for adoption and they were clear they would have helped me raise my child if I had decided to keep my child, because this would have been their first grandchild, you know. And so anyway, but here's where the problem began.
Speaker 2:As the months went on and I started feeling my baby kicking and moving inside, now there was a bond being formed and I struggled now with that plan and the closer I got to my due date and the stronger this bond was becoming, I would cry out to God and I would say have I heard you right? Because this doesn't feel right to me. I want to keep my baby One day. I was just driving down the road and I had the radio on Sorry, I still get no, don't be sorry. The radio on Sorry, I still get no, don't be sorry. So it just brings back a lot of memories.
Speaker 2:I remember I was crying to God and saying I can't do this, I cannot do this. And I had the radio on and there was a preacher talking and I don't even know what he's talking about, but I heard one sentence and I knew it was for me. He said never doubt in the dark what God has taught you in the light. And for me I felt God was saying Anita, I see your pain, your emotions are taking you into the dark and it's going to get darker, but I want you to hang on to what I spoke to you in that moment. We were in the closet together, you were in my light, and so I want you to hang on to the plan that I gave you. And I don't know, lana. I just call that my seal the deal moment that I just, in my heart, knew that I would stick with the plan, no matter what my emotions were telling me.
Speaker 2:So, on January 25th 1975, my parents went with me into the hospital. Back in the ancient days there were not pregnancy resource centers to help moms like me, there was just a social agency, and they had counseled me not to see my child or hold my child, and I guess they were afraid I would change my mind. I'm not sure, but that was the plan. And I went in. I gave birth to a little girl. I heard her little cry, I heard them take her away, and the hardest day of my life was the day I left the hospital without her. In my sorrow, in my grief, though, god was with me. He was, believe it or not, he was with me through the doctor that delivered the baby. He spoke words of encouragement to me. He saw the struggle and he was so kind to me the church family. They accepted me.
Speaker 2:I didn't tell that story. In fact I have a book. You must get my book. It's called A Mother and Child's Life-Changing Reunion, but in there I share more of the support I was given. I was not alone. My family supported me, the church family supported me, so I had so much support to help me get through this hard part of the journey. So I was very fortunate, very fortunate, and to this day I look back and know it was only the grace of God. He modeled how we should act with those who have made some wrong choices in their life and now they're paying the consequences. They need grace, they need loving grace, and it shaped me to who I am today, you know.
Speaker 2:But I had to trust God that he would be big enough for my daughter, that he would meet her in her own pain, because any child that's adopted deals with rejection and abandonment issues. It's just part of their journey that they never asked for, but it's there. I really had to pray and ask God to meet her in her needs. I had to go on with my life because back then adoptions were closed. Once you sign those legal papers, it's over.
Speaker 2:I didn't ever know if I would ever meet this child that I played for adoption, but my mom and dad prayed for her every day and as I went on with my life, I went to college and then I met my husband and God blessed us with four children of our own, but I never forgot my daughter, ever, and particularly her birthdays were really hard for me. I never kept a secret about this. I was transparent always with my friends, my church, family. They all knew I had a daughter somewhere, because you can't carry pain by yourself. I was so thankful that on my hard days I could call friends and say pray for me. Today's her birthday. And it wasn't until I had children of my own that I really knew what I was missing out on. The amazing thing is, as these years are going by, god was always present. You don't know. He's present till you look back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but one day I woke up and I felt in my soul I am to call that agency where I placed my daughter for adoption and I am going to update my records. I mean, I'm going to make it easy for her to find me if she ever wants to. So as I called and I gave my married name, my address and my phone number, I was shocked. First of all, they told me, since I had called in, they could tell me there were a couple notes for me written by the adoptive mother. Wow, yes, wow.
Speaker 2:I had no idea, ana, if I had never called, they couldn't have told me I had to call in. So I was blown away that I was going to get some information about my daughter, going to get some information about my daughter. But the second thing they told me was, if I wanted to, I could start a file at the agency. Now the audience can't see this, but I have a picture of a file. I have my file here. They told me, if I wanted to, I could write my daughter letters and send them in, and they would place these letters in her file. And when she turned 18, legally from that point on, if she ever contacted them seeking information about her birth family, they could give her this file with these letters. And so I was so ecstatic that.
Speaker 2:I had a way to communicate to my daughter that I loved her and that I was open to a relationship with her. If she was willing, I could force her to want a relationship with me, began writing letters, sending them in and she turned 18, 19, 20, 21,. Nothing happened At 21,. Wow, I was just really struggling with this thought of what if she's going in depression or going through hard times because she doesn't feel her birth? Mom loved her.
Speaker 2:And here are these letters telling her how loved she is, but she doesn't know about it. Husband to get his permission, so to speak, because I knew he had to be on board with the plan that was coming to my heart, you know.
Speaker 2:But he gave me permission and I contacted the agency and I just said hey, I don't even know if this is possible, but I'm just asking can you find my daughter? Just to tell her there's a file. That's all I want. I just want her to know there is a file. Not trying to push my way in, I would never do that, but I just wanted to know. There are letters for her and to my shock they said they couldn't promise that they could find her, but they were willing to try and they would let me know if they found her and got the message to her.
Speaker 2:So I don't know. I think it was only a week or two till I got the phone call saying that they had found her. For the first time I heard her name it was Twyla. I was floored to find out she was married and that she had just had a little girl herself, which the timing of all of this was amazing to me, because knowing she was married meant she was mature enough to maybe handle this. Yeah, and the second part was she now had a little girl herself, and maybe she would understand me reaching out and the desire.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because now she's a mother. They told me that they told her about the file. She was shocked, of course, to get a phone call like this and she needed some time to process this and talk to her husband and her family about it, but she was willing to write me a letter out of the goodness of her heart to let me know how she was doing.
Speaker 2:She wasn't going to get the file yet, but she would write me a letter and send it to the agency and they told me when they got the letter they would let me know and I could come pick it up. I was blown away.
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Speaker 2:Eventually the letter came and if my audience could only see. But I'll show you the bottom.
Speaker 2:Here is the original letter that I got and it's actually in the back of my book where someone can read it. But everywhere I speak, this letter goes with me because I want my audience to understand when this letter came. You see, when you've never seen someone, you even wonder if they're real anymore. Yeah, but here this letter comes and for the first time I can learn something about my daughter through what she shares with me. And I say do you think I read this one time and put it away.
Speaker 2:That was nice. Nope, I read this letter over and over and over because I didn't know if I'd ever get another one, and this was all I had to tell me who my daughter was, and I read it for the joy of knowing her. I couldn't get enough of it and eventually she asked for the file. She read my letters and then we began corresponding through the agency, writing letters till we felt ready to meet each other for the first time, and this process really was only about four months till we felt comfortable, I should add. The first thing I noticed when I read the first letter she wrote me was that she was a believer. She was a.
Speaker 2:Christian. So I knew I had a chance, but I still didn't know, because you can't work a relationship. The day finally came when we got to meet each other face to face and I got to meet her husband and my little granddaughter, emily. My parents came to meet her and then my husband came and, of course, my kids. I had always been transparent with them. They all knew about this child. It was the most amazing day to see my daughter's face and to go loaded with gifts. As a birth mom, I just always wanted to give her gifts, but I never had the opportunity. Now I had a chance to give her gifts.
Speaker 2:But here's the thing. Here is why I share my story. I've been sharing it for 20 plus years. It's because of what happened after I met my daughter. I was home one morning and I thought, oh, I guess I'll read my Bible today. You know, it was kind of become a chore. I mean, I knew about having devotions. I was one of these people who would like to read my Bible through in a year and check it off.
Speaker 2:I had accomplished this, you know, I mean, it's a good discipline, but I had kind of lost sight of why I was reading God's Word. And so this particular morning, I picked up the Bible and my assigned reading was Acts, chapter 17. And it's the story of Paul. He is in Athens and he's walking through the city and he sees this area where there are all of these idols, but his eyes land on this one idol that's engraved, unknown God. And so he pulls the town people together and he said I see, you're very religious, I see all these idols, but I see this one idol you worship that you don't even know. And he said I'm going to tell you who this unknown God is that you are worshiping. And he goes on to say this God created you to seek him, to reach out and find him. And he's not even that far away. As your own poets have said, we are his offspring. And I'm giving you a paraphrase of what that passage says.
Speaker 2:Obviously, but it was that little word seek that jumped off the page at me, that God created me to seek him. And I had never seen that before. I'm like, really, that's why you created us. You want us to seek you. And so I thought, well then, I want to seek you, god. But what does that exactly mean, to seek? So I grabbed my dictionary I'm a dictionary girl Solved the definitions. One of them was to look intently, for when you seek something, you're going to look intently for him. So I thought, okay, god, you want me to be intentional, to really look for you. But it was the second definition that grabbed my heart. It said to seek something means to want to find. So God's created us to seek him like he wants us to want to find him.
Speaker 2:And that attitude of heart was when God spoke to me and he said Anita, you should get this. You know how you wanted Twyla to want to find you, to look for you. That is how I feel about all my children. I want them to seek me, to want to find me. And then you know how you started a file with letters telling her how much you love her and you want to be in her life and you want to give her gifts. I have my own file, my Bible. That is my file, full of my letters telling all my children that I love them, in fact so much that I came to earth in the form of Jesus and I laid down my life. That's how much I wanted them to know me and I wanted to make it possible to be in a relationship with them. But just like you could not make Twyla open your file and read your letters, neither can I make my own children Open my file and read my letters, and you know what that feels like.
Speaker 2:And see, that's the day he broke my heart, because I couldn't imagine his pain. Think about it, especially those of us who say we love him and that we want to follow him. Yet we stay so busy that we have no time to open his letters and read them. And I just said to God in that moment, honestly, it was kind of like a surrender moment. I just said to him God, if you are real, and this parallel of the file is from you, I was 48 at that moment.
Speaker 2:I was just a busy housewife, mom. We were busy with a business, I ran a large property. I had no time for anything. But I just said if you want me to share this story with others, for the reason of making the application of the file and the letters, you open the door, I will begin sharing it. And everywhere I share my story. I will give everybody a Bible reading plan so that they can go home. There's no excuses. They can go home with a plan to grow to know you. Because see, here is the other thing. He convicted me also and said you do not read my letters like you read hers. And that was really true. I couldn't wait to read her letters because I wanted to know her. And here was God's letters.
Speaker 2:I kind of lost sight of why I was reading them and he just said I want you to pick up my Bible. And I started actually in the gospels because I wanted to know Jesus. And what I did was I just got a little journal and at the top, the very next day this happened, I wrote Matthew 1. I'm going to start in Matthew Jesus, what do you want me to know about you today? That's all I did.
Speaker 2:And I read Matthew 1, and these were the three things I wrote down that day and I will always remember it. Well, jesus, you have a lot of relatives. I'm not scholarly, I just write what I see. And then the second thing I wrote is it says here you came. You came to save me from my sins. And then the third thing was it says here your name is Emmanuel, god with us. That's powerful enough right there to take that with you throughout the day. God, you're with me.
Speaker 2:And so this began, a journey of every day waking up and the first thing I would do is open my Bible, write what chapter I was in and say Jesus, what do you want me to know about you? So now we're going to fast forward. God began opening the doors. I mean, I just started getting invitations because people had heard I had met my birth daughter. They didn't know about the application part. You know, they just wanted to hear this story. I began sharing my story and the doors just kept opening until, wow, like several years later, I felt God calling me to share a workshop, to just have a simple workshop at my church to help people learn how to have a daily quiet time with God how to hear God speaking to them in a simple way, and this was hilarious.
Speaker 2:I called the church when I had this idea. I thought I better call right away or I'll back out. That's just how we are. We talk our schools out of doing things that seem scary, a little out of the box. But when I called the staff, I was talking to one of the pastors. He said well, I think that's a great idea. He said do you know when you want to have it? So I told it was a Saturday in January. I just knew it had to be that day and honestly, I didn't even know what I was going to do. But I just first wanted to see if I could do it. And then he drops the bomb. He said hey, our lead pastor is going to be away that day. I mean the Sunday before that day. Maybe you would want to give the morning message and invite people to your workshop Now.
Speaker 2:I did not want to do that and I really do believe in the leadership of men in the church. Yeah, I agree, when you have, if the men in the church are asking you to do it, I feel there's permission there, you know, and so I just I just it was an out of body experience I remember saying, well, if the staff wants me to do it, I will do it. And he so he said, well, I'm going to run this by him and I'm not kidding. The minute we hung up I got on my knees and I said, oh Lord, I don't want to do this. But you know what, if you want me to do it, then have the staff approve it, and if they approve it I will do it, even though I have no idea what I'm going to do. They called me and they said we want you to do it.
Speaker 2:And so that Sunday I gave a sermon on seeking God. Messy, what kind of seeker are you, you know? Are you a pretend seeker? You say you follow God but you never open the Bible? Are you a part-time seeker, like I was? Most of my life I spent time reading God's Bible when it suited me or are you a persistent seeker where it's just your top priority and it's your relationship with God, or God matters more than anything else. So I said I'm having a workshop next Saturday If you want to learn how to prioritize getting to know God. I had no idea on it if anyone would show up. In fact, I hadn't even put my workshop together because I was too busy on the sermon. But I had seen that Sunday eight people had signed up. So I thought okay, I guess I got to put something together. Do it now. And guess what? That Saturday, the following Saturday, over 80 people showed up. Wow, 80 people, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:In the middle of teaching, anna, you have those Holy Spirit moments where you know that God has called you to do this. And I had no idea that, that I thought I was only going to do one little workshop, never do another one, but people kept asking me do it again, do it again. You need to do this at other churches. And now here we are, 20 plus years later. God raised the money for me to get the workshop in a professional format. It's 14 years old but people are still doing it. It's on YouTube, it's on the RightNow Media platform. There's a six-week Bible study called the Joy of Seeking God. First and the first session is where I share my testimony and make the application. But the rest of the sessions sessions I teach on seeking God and I just share transparently, as a follower of Christ, what got in the way, what kept me from being a persistent seeker of God, and then I just show them all the verses in the Bible on seeking God. It's a fun workshop. I love it. I can't even believe I could still teach it Like I'm never sick of it, I am never tired of it. It's like I get a fire because seeking God has changed my life. When you are intentional to seek God, to want to know him, to want to find him, he starts producing the fruit in our lives. John 15,. He says if you remain in me, if you remain in my word, you will bear fruit for my kingdom. Like, jesus is on our side, he wants us to enjoy fruit bearing, but it will only come when we seek him first, when we're intentional about spending time with him so we can know him. We cannot teach what we do not know, and so I love what I get to do. I love pointing people to God's word everywhere I speak everywhere, whether it's two people or 2,000 people, everybody gets a gospel of John and on the front cover it says Letter from God. And I encourage them to take the 21-day challenge of reading one chapter a day in John and answering two questions. Actually, jesus, what do you want me to know about you? It's not hard. Just write down what you learned about Jesus. And then I say, after answering that question for 21 days, start all over again, start back at John 1 and answer the second question Jesus, what are you saying you want me to do? Because Jesus in John says I do know him and do his will, and that is my heart. I want to know Jesus and I want to do his will and I can't do it apart from him. I don't know. That's what I do, anna, I love it. If I can help one person show up with Jesus. It's worth it.
Speaker 2:And I'm going to tell you, I'm not perfect. I wish I would be like Jesus, like Christ-like, every day, and I'm not. But I love him with all my heart and I feel the best way I can show him I love him is to show up every day and meet with him, because you know that's how I feel about my children now that they're adults, like if they want to come and sit with me, my word, I feel so loved, you know, and I just feel like when I show up with him and open the word and just sit and talk with him and be with him, it has to make him feel loved. That's something I can do and I might not display the fruit of the Spirit all the time, but I sure want to and I need Him and he helps me, but for sure I can make myself show up and open His Word and spend time with Him, and I know it brings Him joy. It's such a blessing.
Speaker 1:Oh, I am in awe. You have no idea. You have such a beautiful heart. I love hearing you talk. You've had me choke up a couple times in this conversation as well. Your heart for God, your heart for your daughter, your parents' love for you.
Speaker 1:When you were talking about your father coming to find you at that picnic, I just saw the prodigal child story in full effect. That picnic. I just saw the prodigal child story in full effect and your whole life. I can see where God was in the middle of it, where he was redefining the Bible stories we hear all the time and that we just kind of read over and over just like it's another story. But you actually got to experience those stories in full effect. And yeah, your story is amazing. I didn't have anything to say. I'm like no, the Holy Spirit is clearly dominating here and I always say that he's the host and I'm the co-host. So I have no problem stepping back if I feel like what I'm going to say is going to ruin whatever he's trying to say. So I've been just soaking up everything you're saying, feeling conviction, feeling encouraged, and I know my audience is definitely going to feel it too. If anyone wants to get involved with your ministry. How do they go about doing that?
Speaker 2:There are a couple ways. I have a website, of course. It's joyshoporg, so J-O-Y-S-H-O-P dot org and that name actually comes from my very first workshop I had. I was telling everybody now we're going to work today, but this work is going to turn into joy, and so I just called it a joy shop, not knowing it would eventually be branded that way. But joyshoporg. That's where you can go to see my resources. Or if you want me to come share at an event you're having, there's a tab for that. And the other platforms Amazon.
Speaker 2:Both of my books are on Amazon. The first one is called the File A Mother and Child's Life-Changing Reunion. The second book is called Seeking God First A Practical Plan to Finding Peace and Joy. And then a lot of churches have RightNow Media. It's a digital library. And if your church subscribes have to get workbooks but on my website I do have amazing workbooks they go along with the video series that they can purchase off of our website.
Speaker 2:We sell everything very reasonably. We're not in it to make money, we're in it to give tools to help you grow in your relationship with Jesus. So that's an option. Or you can go on YouTube my whole Bible study series, the Joy of Seeking God First is on YouTube and again, if you want the workbook, you can go to my website to purchase that. Now my book, the Joy of Seeking God First, is based on the series, but it is not the same. That makes sense. Like the book you would not buy to do on the series. But it is not the same. That makes sense. Like the book you would not buy to do with the series. You buy the companion workbook to go with the series. But I think that's where they can find everything.
Speaker 2:And I'm going to tell you what would bless me the most. If there's anyone here listening and they're thinking I would really like to take that study. What I pray is that you take the study and then you really get intentional you know growing in your relationship with God and then share it with someone else. Share the study with someone else. You wouldn't believe it. I have actually women from all over the United States who have taken the study and they keep teaching it at their church because people really resonate with the struggle, yeah, struggle, to prioritize time with God. We all need that encouragement and I jokingly say God gave me this ministry to keep me accountable.
Speaker 2:God wants to have a relationship with you. He loves you more than you even can imagine. If you're a parent and you know how much you love your children, it's hard to imagine that God loves us more. He wants to walk with you in the difficulties of life. He wants to be there for you. He wants to be your source of strength and hope and wisdom and so much more.
Speaker 2:But listen, if we don't invite him into that, how can he be there? You know he is always present with us, but he waits to be wanted. He waits to be invited into our lives so that he can come loaded with gifts. Just like I could never give a gift to Twyla until she invited me into her life, and now I have this amazing gift. I should tell you she has six children now.
Speaker 2:I have three great grandsons now and they allow me to be a part of their world and it is just as a birth mom to have that gift is huge and that helps me to be a part of their world. And it is just as a birth mom to have that gift is huge and that helps me to understand God, how our Heavenly Father. He's just dying, he has literally died, but he is wanting to be with us in this journey we call life, and he wants to be a blessing, so seek Him first. I just love to encourage you in that way. A blessing, so seek him first. I just love to encourage you in that way.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you so much, Anita. Your life is an actual episode of the Bible.
Speaker 1:I guess I would say it is so beautiful. I can see him throughout. I can see why you love him so much and have such a heart to want to help others find him as well, and I am definitely blessed by having you on this podcast, and I know everyone who's listening is also blessed and possibly wiping their eyes as well, like I've been. Thank you again for coming on and talking. Thank you for the opportunity hear it. Leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, spotify or my website, honestchristianconversationscom. Your reviews help boost the podcast in the ratings, so let's make these honest conversations more accessible to those who need them. Be sure to follow the show so you never miss another episode, and while you're doing that, why not share the podcast with someone If you want a shout out on the podcast or to join the community and mailing list and to check out the Honest Christian Conversation store? The links for all these are in the show notes. Once again, thank you for spending time with me today. I look forward to our next conversation.
